Your Partner And
Genital Herpes
More about talking to your partner
before you have sexual relations with them.
This subject can be a scary one to discuss
with your partner, but it's important for your health and theirs.
It also shows your partner that you care about them, and their health,
because you want to prevent them from getting the infection.
There are points in the process that
will make it easier for you to tell your potential sexual partners
that you have genital herpes, and one is the most important for you:
the point at which you become comfortable with the fact that you have
genital herpes; when you have come to accept that. That will be make
things easier for you and your partner. When you first find out that
you have contracted genital herpes you may feel ashamed, angry, and
depressed. Those feelings should pass if you educate yourself about
the virus, and get some support, whether it be counseling, a hotline,
support groups, online message boards, or chats. Genital herpes is
nothing to feel any of those negative thoughts about. It is only the
stigma that surrounds the infection that makes it so. But the stigma
is not usually factual information.
People do tell their partners about genital
herpes, and many have supportive partners. You must tell your partner
about it before you have sex. If you wait, it will only be harder
to tell later. The discussion should take place somewhere where you
feel comfortable, and not in a crowded, or unknown place. Do your
best to be calm, and natural about it. It would be best not to be
overly negative about it. Be positive, and natural. Your partner could
have several reactions, and you should try to prepare yourself for
each. Some people overreact, some will be fine, and some will be negative
no matter what you say. Just remember that it probably took, or will
take you some time to come to acceptance with it, and it may take
your partner some time as well. If they are negative about it, it
may be a good idea to educate them yourself, or encourage them to
speak to someone at a sexual health center, or call a hotline.
The Famvir (an antiviral medication taken
orally) website offers some suggestions for how to begin the conversation:
"Now that we are becoming more intimate,
I think it's important that we talk about sex. Can we talk now?"
"I trust you, so I would like to share
something that's very personal with you. Two years ago, I found out
that I had contracted genital herpes."
"We get along very well and I really
enjoy spending time with you. I believe that we should be completely
honest with each other. I'd like to talk about our sexual histories."
These are just some suggestions. Use
your own style, and remember, be honest. It's always easier to be
honest the sooner you do it.
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to Genital Herpes
